Getting our hearts broken is one of the most painful things in life, in my opinion. And having a broken heart is not restricted to only a lover who left us. It can come from lost opportunities, friends, time, family members, pets, things we thought we one day might be but never turned into. And so much more. The core element of it though is the aspect of loss. We wanted something in our lives but for some reason it couldn’t stay with us. Can it come from something we never even had in the beginning? Sure!
Your feelings don’t have to be logical
The thing with loss is that it’s not logical. We could try to calm our hearts and minds with explanations why something isn’t there anymore. And believe me, I will do that as well, since it does help to calm our own nervous system and in reality it does bring peace. But at the end of the day we feel sad anyway, no matter how much we try not to. We might feel anxiety, pain, sadness, stress, panic. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about…
A broken heart is necessary
The thing is though that a broken heart is absolutely necessary in order to be able to live life to the fullest. It would be silly to expect to go through this life and never get our hearts broken. It’s just not realistic. I wrote a million times before that life is a school consisting of lessons. The lessons never really end. And well, a broken heart is just one of them. And if you think about it, every single person has found themselves in the same place you might be in right now. Does that mean you’re not supposed to feel the hurt then? Of course not!
Most people think about a broken heart as a bad thing. Something that hurts, it stings our heart and we want to get rid of the pain as fast as possible. However, most people overlook what a broken heart is good for! So, let me try to explain it as well as I can 🙂
Let go of what’s not supposed to stay with you
Some things are meant for us and some aren’t, right? Well the things that leave our hearts broken were never meant to be and stay with us from the beginning on! However, they do prepare you for the things that are meant for you and will eventually stay in your life. In fact, when you have reached a point where you are ready to receive something wonderful in your life – this might be a lover, a baby, a pet, a mission, or any kind of personal blessing – you might only be able to recognize it because you saw how it feels to have something that isn’t right and that isn’t meant to be in your life.
Experiences shape us
When we go through our lives, we meet people who betray us, cheat, treat us badly, promise us things they never go through with, leave, etc. We might have dates, relationships, situationships, friends with benefits, one night stands. My point is that all of these teach us something! They shape us and make us into who we are. We might have scars and wounds. Most people in fact do. But they make us us. Who you are right in this moment you are only because of what happened to you in the past and how you dealt with it. And who you will be in the future depends on the experiences you are about to make. And believe me, they might bring you joy, and they might bring your pain. But you’re willing to take it because you know it will turn you into who you’re supposed to be.
“And if you’ve never felt your soul being torn apart, you’ve never loved anyone with all your heart.”
The Mind’s Journal
Use your broken heart to your advantage
We should embrace a broken heart because when we’re alone we get the chance to get to know ourselves on a deeper level. Only now you can get to know and appreciate and accept yourself. In a few year’s time that’s much more important than any relationship you could have had. I remember a video of a woman who said that the relationships we’ll have in this lifetime were agreed upon mutually before we came to this earth. Whoever is supposed to be with you will find you and come into your life! If it hasn’t happened yet, that doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen. Now is just not the time. In the meantime you should first learn to accept and love yourself, so that you’ll be ready to receive their love when they do come into your life!
And remember, nothing that is meant to be in your life will miss out on you. The people you met – whether they were a blessing or a lesson – you were meant to get to know them. Because they came into your life to give you something, to teach you something.
Wisdom comes through pain
Believe me, in a few year’s time you’ll look back at your life and you’ll see why those experiences, those lessons were necessary. Why do we turn to spiritual teachers, our mother, or our friends for advice? Because we trust that they know what they’re talking about. And why can we trust that? Because they have experiences of their own. They all went through their own things, making them who they are know. You could turn into a very wise person one day. But only through experiences. Good and bad ones. Pleasant and painful.
This too shall pass
And also… You won’t feel like this forever! Every phase will pass. There will be days where you’ll feel better about your life. When I personally look back on those days where I was crying over a certain person I can’t help but smile, knowing that I have long gotten over them. I met so many people in the meantime. People I would much rather spend my time with now. It’ll get better 🙂
What your broken heart shouldn’t turn into…
There is only one thing you shouldn’t do! You shouldn’t let that painful experience make your heart close up. Keep your heart open. Love openly. Let people in, even though others hurt you in the past. It’s not their fault that you got scared. Let people love you. Don’t ruin something that could turn into something beautiful, just because the last time it didn’t go the way you wanted it to. Just in this moment, by the way, I’m listening to a song by Ed Sheeran called Happier and the last line is “And if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I’ll be waiting here for you”. Maybe you needed to hear that today 🙂
I hope you find these words when you need them the most.
Thank you for reading, love, Valentina <3
