Raising kids is so difficult. So these are 10 things that will turn them into good people. Photo: Pexels
Spirituality is a great thing to include into your children’s upbringing that will turn them into decent human beings with a good character and strong personality.
Spirituality can ground someone and strengthen their character which is why I think it should never be ignored when parenting children. So, these are 10 spiritual values (and lessons) you should absolutely teach your kids if you want them to grow into good people 🙂
1. Their value is intrinsic
If you could teach your kids only one spiritual value, let it be this. Their values is intrinsic, it comes from within! Your child is a human and has a soul. That already makes it sooo valuable. Your kids should never think that they have to prove their value through their actions or their words.
This could turn them into people-pleasers or workaholics. Someone who thinks they have to prove their worth will never feel worthy. They will forever try to earn love and affection and admiration. And they will never feel good enough because there are always people who are prettier, richer, thinner, more successful.
Their value comes from within, from who they are and not from what they do. Please make sure they know this. Only this way they can ever truly love themselves. And they should learn this early on!
2. They should always trust their intuition
Your intuition is a tool and a gift from above. It tells what to do and what not to do. It’s there to protect you and take you out of situations that feel peculiar. At the same time, your intuition can also tell you when something feels truly right and like something they should pursue.
The thing with our intuition is that it grows when we use it and trust it. Never force your kids to do something that doesn’t feel right to them or that they don’t want to do. Later on, their intuition could save their lives.
As good as you can, teach them to always listen to their gut feeling and encourage them to use it on a daily basis. You can do this best by developing a strong intuition yourself 🙂 And here explained in detail how to do that.
3. Everything happens for a reason
Understanding this spiritual value can save so much stress and pain throughout life. It is undeniable that people – babies, kids, teenagers, adults and seniors – will suffer in life. For a fact, life and suffering go hand in hand. As I have explained a number of times, through suffering we grow.
Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Oftentimes it’s redirection, sometimes it’s protection, usually something better comes along but never it is a personal attack or a punishment.
They should always trust that the course their lives will take is to a certain extent guided by a higher power, oftentimes we don’t have an influence on what happens to us. The earlier they understand this the better they will be able to handle difficult situations and suffering in life.
4. Every experience is good – even the bad ones
This point goes hand in hand with the one above. Teach them that when they don’t get something they wanted, if something didn’t happen for them, or something bad did happen, that that’s not the end of the world. Make them understand that the person they will eventually grown into depends on the experiences they make.
And if they only ever experience good stuff they will lack integrity and a strong back to handle challenges. Sometimes bad things happen to us, and we won’t like them all, but that’s how life goes.
Life would be boring if it were always good and easy. Through the hard times we learn to appreciate to good ones. Or in other words, only after it rained can we see a rainbow.
5. Life’s a gift – appreciate it
You should teach your kids that if they are healthy and have food, water, shelter, friends, freedom, safety, time, peace and family, that they have almost everything they’ll ever need. If you can make your children understand that the true value in life lies in the simple things, you can be sure that they will grow up being happy children.
Give them what they need but don’t spoil them. Rather, gift them unlimited affection and attention, take and make time for them and make them feel like they are important. Don’t get me wrong, you can buy them things if you want, but don’t focus too much on material things.
There’s a chance they won’t ever truly be satisfied with material things. But if you teach them the value of things – especially the things I mentioned above – they will grow up to have a character of gold.
6. You don’t fight their battles for them but with them
Your goal should not be to take away every hurt or hardship they experience. Instead, give them tools to handle hardship. You can’t fight all their battles for them. Rather, be there for them when they need you. Don’t take away valuable experiences because you want to protect them from a world that sometimes seems cruel.
Or as Gabor Maté said, you should teach them how to be able to handle the stresses of life, and not take them away from them. Otherwise they will lack tools they need later on in life when suffering eventually finds them.
Sadly, no one gets to experience a suffering-free life. Offer support and make them know that you accompany them from their hurt but don’t try to distract them from what’s causing them pain. This way, you could cause them more harm than you’re actually doing something good for them.
7. They should never change themselves for being accepted
This behavior of wanting to prove yourself to the world stems from an inner insecurity or low self-esteem that might have rooted in childhood. So, early on you should teach them that they are good just as they are. The only person they should want to become better for is themselves.
This is why I mentioned the point with the intrinsic value first, it’s so important. Of course, parents are never perfect, and you shouldn’t want to be. But try to not talk down on them too much or make them feel insignificant or small or unworthy or dumb.
Otherwise, they will try a lifetime become someone others approve of and will never be able to truly accept who they really are. Plant this self love and respect early on so they can grow to live a life that is true to themselves.
8. They should always do more of what brings them joy
In childhood we discover what we love to do. The passions that we have later on in life always stem from something we enjoyed doing as a child. And having passions in our adult life is something so important for our general well-being and happiness.
So, if you see that your child is truly enjoying an activity that has to do with creativity, or self-discovery, or analytics or something they can use their hands or their brain, don’t interrupt them. Instead, encourage them to keep going.
Also, if you can, offer them a variety of hobbies they can try out so that they have the chance to discover something they love.
I heard someone say, if you have a child that loves to write but is bad at maths, you don’t focus on the maths. Encourage them to write more and support them because you could have the next Gabriel García Márquez in front of you without knowing!
9. Having emotions (and showing them) is a strength, not a weakness
Being able to handle your own emotions in a healthy way is a very useful skill to have. Actually, so many people eventually have to go to therapy because they aren’t able to process, show and interpret their emotions.
Being sad, angry, joyful, jealous, sad, bitter, disappointed, etc. these emotions are all natural and normal. You should never make your child suppress their emotions. Through crying they can release the hurt, don’t ever make them feel like crying is wrong or weak.
As adults, they won’t have the tools to handle emotions properly. Actually, emotional intelligence is a skill that comes with knowing how to handle your own emotions and it’s a very attractive skill a partner or a friend could have.
Teach them how to handle their emotions in a healthy way and make them understand that every emotion is good and welcome.
10. Staying in the moment is better than any distraction
Offering your children less rather than more can oftentimes be a huge gift you’re making them. Not always being distracted allows them to get in touch with their inner self, nature, and other people. In boredom lies creativity. When children don’t always have something to do, they’ll find something.
Again, instead of offering your child a ton of toys to play with, offer them time with you and their friends. Make activities with them, cook and bake, read, go outside, talk to them, cuddle them, and be present. Because learning how to be able to be present in the moment is not something everyone can do.
However, those who can do it, have an advantage. By the way, meditation is the strongest exercise to practice being in the moment, and so many adults still have to learn that. Gift your children the ability to be present. It’s a gift you’re making them.
These were 10 spiritual values I would make sure to teach my kids to give them the chance and the tools to grow into good human beings with integrity who value spirituality like their parents do.
I hope you agree with them, if you have more feel free to share them 🙂
Love, Valentina <3
Written by Valentina – spiritual writer & founder of Valentina’s Diary
