A little while ago, I came across something I found pretty sweet. It’s called the Michelangelo effect. Basically, it stands for the effect others have on us, eventually sculpting us into the person we are becoming, just like Michelangelo sculpted his famous David statue. At first, I didn’t like what I read. It suggests that others can have such an impact on us, that they make us more into who we are than we ourselves through our own efforts. But then it also came to my mind that I often say that we are a product of the experiences we make, the people we meet, the things we see and absorb, what we read and so on. So yes, I think others can have a huge impact on us. But what does that look like?
The power of the subconscious mind
And already, I could make this a much deeper topic than intended. It has been shown that what we get told or experience can drastically shape what we think of ourselves or what perceptions we have of the world. This can either influence us in very positive or very negative ways. We can then either be lucky to get fast ahead in life – through a good self-esteem for example. Or we can get held back all the time through our self-imposed anxieties and insecurities. Early on in life it’s usually the parents that have the biggest on who we are. It depends deeply on how they treat us, how much they make us feel heard, how much they empower us and teach us to stand firm that determines how confidently we approach life. But there is another huge influencer we usually have in our lives.
A lover? Or a sculptor?
It is said that later on in life, it is our romantic partners that have the biggest influence, as we usually spend the most time with them. Again, it’s crucial whether a relationship is healthy or not. As our partners could literally turn us into our best version, feeling protected and supported at all times. Or they could even increase our anxieties and insecurities, since they can also make us feel unheard, invalidated and unimportant.
It is highly dependent on how we get treated that determines how we feel about ourselves, especially if there hasn’t (yet) been implanted a secure and positive sense of self.
Your light and shadow
The people that are closest to us usually see our deepest parts. The strength and the weaknesses. It is highly dependent whether they help us emphasize these strength and work on our weaknesses that has an effect on who we turn into. Or whether they turn those against us, using implicit manipulative behaviors.
Having someone on our side who supports us and is good for us is crucial if we want to strive in our relationships and as who we are as a person. That is because, even when we go for coffee with someone, we are much more likely to order a piece of cake if they do too. Even if that is something we usually wouldn’t do. This banal example shows what big of an influence other people have on us. Whether we notice it consciously or not.
To free David from its marble
I really love the metaphor used to illustrate this picture. We could turn into literal pieces of art if we had someone that would help us free ourselves from the marble. So that we can eventually turn into the majestic David that was created by Michelangelo. But it takes time and continuous effort by a dedicated artist. To find people who have the best for us in mind is truly a gift. To have someone who supports and hears you and doesn’t stab a knife into your back if you’re not looking.
Spiritually, this is important because our realities are shaped by who and what we encounter on our journey. And other people play a big role in that. You could meet someone through destiny that is supposed to show you certain parts of yourself or teach you something about the world that could alter your perceptions of life long-term.
Therefore, it is only advisable to pay extra attention on who the people in your surrounding are. Do they make you better people? Do you like who you are when you’re with them? Can they help you find your spiritual path? Would they accompany you there? Keep those people close! And through the Michelangelo effect they might help sculpt you into the piece of art that’s still hidden under all that marble, I’m sure.
Love, Valentina <3
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