We live in harmony with ourselves when we start appreciating who we are. Photo: Pexels
I feel like it’s easy for us to compare ourselves and our lives to the ones of others. And usually, when we do that, we lose. There is always someone who has achieved more. However, our lives are just as individual on this earth as we are. It doesn’t make any sense to compare, as we all make such different experiences anyway.
Things might always be different than they first seem. Even the most successful people might be broken in some ways. Only you live your life and you are there during every second of it.
And so, it’s your responsibility to make sure that you are supported and admired – by yourself! That’s how you’ll live your best life – so love yourself (passionately). And luckily it doesn’t matter at all what you’ve been through!
Take that life of yours and deal with it
I had a toxic phase where I wished my life was harder so I could get stronger (here, I explain that difficult lives are not always bad since they help you grow the most. Without hardship, no growth).
However, this way of thinking is just as useless as wishing your life was easier. I’m a big believer that we all choose our lives before we come to this earth!
Our soul knows exactly what kind of circumstances we need to make the most out of this life: hard, easy, poor, rich, safe, in danger, war, peace, male, female – you know what I mean.
The cards you have been dealt with…
Every life is SO individual, no situation ever happens twice! What you’re going through is the perfect combination of lessons and gifts that form you and help you become the version you’ll eventually turn into.
I am also a big believer of destiny (would be quite ironical to have a blog about spirituality if that wasn’t the case, no?). You were dealt certain cards and you’ll experience specific situations in your life that are tailored to your level of soul-development and ability/opportunity to grow.
Your own passionate love story
We can’t decide our destiny for ourselves. The only thing you can do is take every situation life throws at you and be so sure in who you are that you can handle everything.
I think it’s our obligation to love ourselves. We need to stand our grounds, with no doubts, and love ourselves fiercely.
It’s prohibited to suppress emotions, wallow in self-pity, blame the world for your misery or engage in toxic behaviors – that is only going to harm you. It’s time to act out our own most passionate love story.
Find all parts of you – and welcome them
I am convinced that we are more than just one thing! We are not just a person. When you look yourself in the mirror and you tell yourself you love yourself (as I hope you are already doing!), you automatically imply that there are multiple parts inside you.
Someone loves something or someone else: there are always at least two actors involved, otherwise loving couldn’t be an action.
I always say we have an inner child, a current version and a future self inside us. The current version needs to work the hardest. They are responsible for the well-being of the others. It needs to soothe the inner child and acknowledge its pain. Otherwise you will carry past hurt with you that can have severe influences on how you approach life.
It also needs to put in all the hard work so that your future self can live a good life. You need to heal your wounds, get an education, get a job, get hobbies, friendships, make sure you have a good relationship with yourself.
Otherwise, you will never be able to live the life you’re imagining. Your future self will have to make up for the mistakes and the ignorance your current self is causing. What you’re not doing now, you will have to do later. And every investment is really an act of love to yourself!
The Soul – your purest form of being
I also firmly believe that our soul, our heart and our mind are three individuals that we need to address. Essentially, the soul is who you are! It’s your purest form of being, which is an energy that can’t be created nor destroyed.
You have inhabited a body to make human experiences. You are a celestial being, living in a shell, having worldly problems, essentially going to school to learn. We could also mention the intuition. In my opinion, this is the voice the soul tries to use to communicating its endless knowledge to you in times you need it.
The Heart – your soft side
And then the heart and the mind are two things you should never neglect. They both want the best for you but in different ways. The heart knows that there is no better feeling in the world than feeling loved.
And so it tries to connect with others, and find special people that are good for you. It wants you to be open and vulnerable. It expresses itself through longing and desires.
The Mind – the fierce protector
Yet, the mind is much more logic-driven. It merely wants to protect you. It knows that people can be deceptive and that sometimes it’s not safe to open up to someone, and that we should rather draw walls and close up, so nobody can hurt us.
These behaviors are more destructive but we should never forget the origin behind such acts and thank the brain for wanting to protect us. One wants to bring the good things in, while the other tries to keep the harmful and hurtful stuff out. Appreciate both before you judge yourself.
Time to be your own admirer, no?
Knowing all of this, I hope I helped you recognize that loving yourself is not just the best thing you can do for yourself, but something you HAVE to do if you want to thrive in life.
Acknowledge all parts of you. Thank them for being there. Actually, write them a love letter. Get to know them and appreciate them for being there for you.
Know that you have responsibilities for your younger and your older version. Work hard at all times that all of you – soul, mind, heart, child, current version and future self – love living in that body of yours and go on that journey for you. They want the best for you. Return the favor!!
Let me know how that self love journey is going for you! 🙂 Love, Valentina <3
Written by Valentina – spiritual writer & founder of Valentina’s Diary
