There is not one right path we can take. What didn’t happen for us, wasn’t for us. Photo: Pexels
Ever since I got a bit older and life got a bit more serious and I have become conscious of what consequences certain situations might have on what my life might be like in a few years, I started to worry more and more.
And after lots and lots of conversation with people that are close, personal experiences, books I’ve read, journals I’ve filled, cried tears and lessons – just some things that are necessary to get a little wiser and more mature in life – I have finally come to terms with the following phrase. Rejection is redirection.
This text is for you if…
I’m sure that you have had situations where in retrospect you realized that something that might have hurt you badly in the past not only doesn’t bother you anymore but maybe even is responsible for something good that has come into your life instead.
In the moment we’re always blinded by the momentary pain and discomfort. We might only see what’s bugging us right now: a failed exam, being turned down for a job, heart break, failure, lost money, time or energy, the feeling like you’re in the wrong place in life or wasting time. It could be anything.
It’s all our limited perspective’s fault
It is in our nature as humans to only be able to see right what’s in front of you or what we’re experiencing and feeling right in this moment. Sometimes it’s hard for us to step back and see the bigger picture.
We might not know that maybe we got rejected for a job because the pay would not have been that good and the colleagues would have been real idiots. And that instead, two months down the line we would find one that would fulfill us much more and the salary is actually fair.
In this moment, you’re only reading rejection after rejection letter (or email haha). And it’s frustrating. I know this because this is my own situation right now. So, in a way I’m also writing this blog for myself, to remind me of what to focus on.
What we get wrong about failure and rejection
It’s hard for us to understand that the person who might just have left us, or lied to us, or cheated on us, or betrayed us, or mistreated us, is actually bad for us, just because we love them so much. Or even worse is, when the person on our side was just lovely and almost perfect and we would have loved to spend our lives with them but can’t because of that one big deal-breaker.
They might not even have done something wrong, but for some reason we had to say good-bye to them. And it hurts especially because we thought they would never leave us.
Just wait a little and see
But what we don’t know is that in a short matter of time someone special would come along. Someone who is exactly what our soul and heart needed to finally feel totally loved and appreciated. Someone who doesn’t have that one big flaw that forced you to say good-bye to the other person.
This person might just know what you need in order to blossom and bloom inside their arms. And suddenly, you don’t even think about the other person anymore.
Or, you finally learned how to love being on your own and that your own company is much better than having someone who doesn’t really know how to treat you well. And you’ll still be very happy without them.
The beauty of hanging in there
Right now, maybe you need to work a job you hate. But the money you can save and invest will actually help you fulfill your dreams in the near future.
The business you wanted to build actually failed and you have never been more disappointed by yourself than you are right now. But maybe the skills you acquired during the process might help you launch your dream project. You might realize that you could not have done all of that without that training you failed business brought you.
And suddenly, it’s not important anymore that that first business failed. Because that second project of yours is much better. You realize that you might never have reached the success you’re having right now without all of that sweat, blood, tears, time invested and energy spent on what you though was a complete waste of your time.
Trust and relax – that’s all we can do
We don’t know what destiny has planned for us (and what we partly chose for ourselves to experience, hardship and failure included). We can only learn to trust it. The problem is that we lack perspective and we don’t know that we do.
Often, we get caught up in momentary feelings and emotions, forgetting that we might get out of that hard situation in no time at all.
Sometimes, life requires us to wait for the good stuff. We might have to experience some discomfort, otherwise we could never appreciate the blessings that might come in in no time at all.
Your little take-aways
Sometimes, you have to remind yourself of who you have become, of what you have achieved so far and what you’re actually capable of. Because we forgot. So many times we take our own efforts for granted and forget to appreciate ourselves for what we have delivered in all this time we have been on earth.
It’s so easy to be critical, frustrated, impatient, and hard on ourselves. Do yourself a favor and look at your life right now and thank yourself for your investments.
And believe that with your way of being, you can achieve anything – no matter what your recent failures might have told you instead.
Failure is not bad. Rejection is redirection. You can’t fail in life. And there is not only one right way.
Love, Valentina
Written by Valentina – spiritual writer & founder of Valentina’s Diary
