Sooner or later, every single one of us has to deal with losses in life. Loss is one of the great stresses in life. Break ups are one of them. Death is another. We consider the latter one as far worse. And that’s because death is irreversible. Once someone’s gone they’re not coming back. Therefore, it might take us weeks, months or years to adjust to a life with someone gone that was so close to us when we were so used to having them in our lives.
Right or wrong pain doesn’t exist
People handle pain differently. The amount of suffering is not proportionate to the time you spent with them or to how close you lived. I say this because I had someone close to me pass away a little while ago. And I almost felt guilty for not being able to show my pain obviously to the rest of my family. But they didn’t know how I dealt with my feelings behind closed doors. So, that’s going to be my first message. There is no right or wrong way of grieving. Some are better able to express their feelings than others. And you don’t have to suffer a determined amount just because it was a close relative of yours that passed away. Or at the same time, it doesn’t mean you’re not suffering just as much as the rest of your community just because you lived the furthest away. Step away from any expectations. Grieving is a personal thing and everyone is granted the right to suffer in their own way.
Now, I want to bring you closer a few spiritual truths or insights if you will that helped me get over a loss like this a little more easily. Or let’s say it made the whole thing a little more bearable.
Death is a natural law
This one makes great sense, no? What would happen if people didn’t die anymore? Life quality would go down a lot, space would get smaller, the world would be over-populated so fast. We all need to go at some point. If there’s birth, there’s death. The one can’t exist without the other. You can see it this way… You will loose a lot of people throughout the course of your life, but you will also gain many, especially your children, if you’ll have any. Dying happens to everyone. Every person goes through the same things at some point. You could not have hoped to have someone in your life forever. Maybe you wanted them to stay a little longer. But eventually it would have happened.
Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there
Personally, I strongly believe that our loved ones keep on having an eye on us. Dr. Michael Newton wrote quite a few beautiful things about dying, his whole book ‘Journey of Souls’ is actually about that. He said that your close ones, especially our soulmates, which we have several of by the way, come and get us when we die and guide us the spirit world, the place we go to spend time between two lives. He also said that when someone dies they might send messages through dreams to us, or they try to let us know that they’re still with us for a while before they leave. You might feel this through your intuition or you might get an energy, a sensation, a vibration. Children have spiritual channels that are better developed than adult’s ones and are usually better in determining spiritual activity. Newton shares a few heart-warming stories in his book.
They won’t be gone forever
The center of the spiritual science is the soul. Obviously. And the first thing we learn is that it is immortal. Just because a body dies, doesn’t mean that the soul does. The two just disconnect at the point of someone’s death. Souls that are close to us wait for us and eventually reincarnate together with us again in the next life. They then might play different roles. Instead of a brother, they might be a nice, a best friend or a husband. But they’ll be there. And this is where I can actually reverse this fear of having lost someone forever. You haven’t. They are waiting for you and you’ll see them again. Maybe not in the same form, but the soul will be the same.
They weren’t supposed to be with you anymore
Destiny will keep someone in your life for as much time as they need to teach you something. Or vice versa. Has that time come where the two of you are ready to part, life will move into different directions for the two of you. When a person dies, that usually means that they have learned what they needed to learn. They have made their experiences and lived enough of a life for it to serve a purpose for them. A life can be painful and tiring. Sometimes, dying is a relief for someone. Finally, they are able to go. Maybe majority of their loved ones are already waiting for them. It might be that for them, dying was a blessing. They were able to let go of a burden in some cases. They might not see having to go as the bad thing you see it as.
“The tired sunsets and the tired people.
Charles Bukowski
It takes a lifetime to die and no time at all.”
You need this stage of grief to be able to grow
When we’re suffering we are evolving the most. When everything in our lives is always good we never feel the need to change. It is in moments of pain where we look at what we’re lacking inside and outside that could keep us from being happier. This is also why people start working out so much or look for hobbies once they face a painful breakup. Sure, in the moment it feels awful, but in retrospect we are so glad that we went through all of those experiences because they made us who we are now. Maybe the death of a close one inspires you to be better, to live up to your potential, to become someone they thought you could be. It helps you strip away layers of doubt and insecurity. Even though it’s painful, try to embrace periods of change. Even if that change is a loss.
I often say this, but things never stay the same. Things come and go, some things are meant to stay in our lives, some don’t, some are supposed to stay longer while others leave us quite fast again. Time really does heal wounds. Loss is something no one is safe from, even if they appear to have everything. And remember, whoever it was that died. You will most likely get a chance to see them again.
Hope this helped a little!
Love, Valentina
