Does our value depend on what kind of jewellery we wear? I think not. Photo: Pexels
On the internet, I see and hear so many people talk about being high-value. At first, I liked this concept. That was until I started to question whether or not I am high-value. And that’s where I started to feel bad about myself.
Being high-value in the eyes of society means that everyone has high expectations of you. I’m talking about your hobbies, what you do in your free time, how much alcohol you drink, how much sex you have and with how many people, how you dress, what your education is.
And yes, I see where this is coming from. I’m going to talk more about what my thoughts are on this later. But first I badly want to explain why none of these things have something to do with your value and your worth!
Your value is intrinsic
It took me a while to understand this. Before we are anything in this world, we are souls. Souls are energy. They don’t have a body or any type of physical shape, they don’t have a gender, they’re not pretty or ugly, poor or rich, they are energy.
Energy is flowing, it’s vibrating, it feels drawn to certain things and repelled by others, just like magnets. But a soul can never be measured by value. There is no good or bad energy, just like there are no good or bad souls.
Souls are all the same. You are a celestial being with its home somewhere in the universe. You are made to experience, love, grow, change. Our nature is all the same. And we only come to earth to learn and make these experiences. For this, we collaborate with a body that allows us to have human interactions.
And now there are people who want to say that you lose worth if you do this or don’t do that. The value of a person is not something that can be measured like a price. Your value is intrinsic.
As a soul you are energy, and you are of the same energy like everybody else. Which is a sacred and divine energy, by the way. Your value and your worth is your own. It can’t be measured, it just exists.
Your value can’t be measured
Your value cannot be defined by other people! People never know what you’ve been through, what your prior experiences are, what your environment is, your upbringing, your struggles, your coping mechanisms etc. Everything you do, is a response to life.
Sometimes life is very hard and so you have to adapt. You make choices and do things based on your own life. Nobody understand what that is like. And so no one has the right to tell you that you lost your worth by doing something or that you are low-value.
Also, what is high-value? Usually, if something is worth a lot is because it’s rare. But this way of thinking isn’t applicable to humans because we are all unique anyway! Let me say it again. No one can take away your value or define it. Never ever take someone serious when they say you are not high-value.
I put so much emphasis on this because I myself struggled with this concept. I thought that every time I had an intimate moment with someone I would lose value. Therefore, I was never able to enjoy anything physical with anyone because it would always be accompanied by a guilty feeling.
In reality, I was looking for intimacy and connection with someone that was important to me. People don’t know that about you! Don’t take criticism from someone who hasn’t lived a day in your life.
High-value vs. high-quality
Having said this – I thought about the whole thing in detail! – I actually do agree that there are “better” people than others. And this “better” doesn’t have anything to do with value, as I have explained in detail above. So, I thought there is a difference in quality of people.
I would never accuse someone of being “low-quality”, because again, you never know what the circumstances of someone are or what they are currently going through. Instead, I like to think about quality as something that can always be improved.
Again, I have to be clear here. It’s not that people aren’t good as they are right now. You are good right now, just as you are! However, there is always room for improvement. You can always augment and improve your own quality. So, how do you do that?
Traits of high-quality people
Here is where I would mention a few things that could raise the level of the quality of who you are as a person. I would like to add again something important. To me, value is more internal, like the soul or the heart, which is something that I see as pure gold. And then quality is more external. A high-quality person could present themselves as
- educated
- friendly
- honest
- disciplined
- respectful
- hard-working
- hopeful
- positive
- humorous
- generous
- kind
- trust-worthy
- intuitive
- consistent
- reliable
- driven
- down-to-earth
To me, integrity is one of the best qualities a person can have. It shows up as well in how good you treat other people, how you show up for them and yourself. How hard you are working, how interested you are in things, how big your drive to learn is, how cultured someone is, someone you can have good conversations with.
How to be high-quality
Personally, I don’t think it matters a lot what you look like to define your quality. The above mentioned traits are what counts! So, how can you become more high-quality? These are some aspects to take into consideration:
- Personality and character
- Education
- Relationships
- Work/Finances
- Hobbies
- Style (clothes, home, etc.)
- Health
- Lifestyle
I’d like to reason some of my points. When I think of a ‘high-quality’ person I imagine someone who: has a good education, works hard and likes their job. They treat others with respect and kindness. Growth and personal development are important to them. They have good hygiene and you can see that they take care of themselves.
It’s not about how many muscles someone has or how pretty they are. Rather, it’s about the work they put into themselves. Do they cook and eat healthy, move their body, shower, take care of their skin and their hair?
How much do they sleep and permit themselves to rest? What is the relationship with themselves like, and their close and loved ones? Their family, their friends, their boss and colleagues?
I immediately get interested in someone when I see they are cultured. What do they spend their time doing? Gaming? Or reading? Do they know a thing or two about their country? What about art and music? Have they ever been to a museum? Do they have a hobby? Or do they just go out clubbing and get home drunk at 4 am (again, there is nothing wrong with doing that, it’s just nice to see people who like to spend their time elsewhere as well)?
Can you have a good conversation with them, and can they communicate in another language? Do they know what’s going on in the world? That’s so attractive!
Let’s conclude
When reading the things I just wrote, I hope you can imagine where I’m going with this. I guess the concept of being high-quality is known to people, and I support it. It’s just that I have a problem with the term high-value. No one can take away your value, it’s intrinsic, that’s my main point!
But sure, there is always room for improvement in ways that I have mentioned above. However, please always take into consideration that people live their own lives. They have made experiences you don’t know about. They might have to battle so much suffering.
So, please always try to be as high-quality as you can. But never forget that you always have and always will be high-value. No matter what society thinks! But P.S. Please share with me what you think!
Love, Valentina <3
Written by Valentina – spiritual writer & founder of Valentina’s Diary
