Sometimes, life brings us darker times. But we can learn to handle them. Photo: Pexels
Lately, I was wondering why it is that sometimes our lives feel so enchanting, and inspiring and good. And then the next day we wake up, we feel bad, we lost our spark, our energy, our inspiration, our motivation, our creativity and the days just feel long and boring and tiring. And suddenly, you’re dealing with a ‘hard life’.
Good and bad experiences
The reason why I’m addressing this issue (again) on this blog is because I thought that I understood how life works. We make our experiences, good and bad, we go through life, we learn our lessons, we face situations, easy and difficult ones, they shape us and no matter what happens, in the end it’s for the best of us.
I know that everything that happens, is happening for us and serves for a greater good. Even if that greater good lies far in the future.
I thought that my mind knows that even ‘bad’ situations are ‘good’ for us because they will lead us to where we’re supposed to go. It’s best to trust in the universe, let go and focus on what you can – your mindset especially – and then everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to!
Hard like we know it?
And the thing is, even though I know all of this because I have read and written so much about it, my life still feels so inexplicably hard at times.
I don’t mean hard in the traditional sense; I’m healthy, I have an education, safety, food, water, family, friends, a relationship, means to buy what I need and want and so much more. I know, the most important thing is to remember what you have and be grateful for that because such things are the biggest blessings in life. And I am!
What I’m missing is inspiration, passion, time, mental peace, motivation, energy, understanding, the desire to get up in the morning and live this day.
Personally, I know this has mainly to do with the fact that I had to move away from my favorite city in the world and go back to my home country where I feel misunderstood and feel the lack of passion around me.
And so I thought, what else do I need to know (spiritually) in order to be able to feel that joy again that came so naturally to me a few months ago. And I guess some of you want to know that too 🙂
Challenge? Or Chance?
The thing is; life is always changing. And before a big change there is always a challenge awaiting us. With this I mean that you get challenged to change yourself in a way that you need and want. But it’s not always the way you expect you’ll be able to change.
If you want to get stronger, you’ll face setbacks, if it’s the lack of love in your life that you’re suffering from, you need to learn to love yourself, if you want to be disciplined you’ll face temptations, if you want focus, you’ll have to deal with distractions, if you want to heal your wounds you’ll face situations where you have to deal with them again.
If you want to be able to appreciate the things in your life you first must learn what life feels like without those things.
What you need to get ahead…
At the end, it will always take effort to get to where we want to be. Some of that effort is physical: You need exercise to be fit, study to get good grades, read to learn, sleep to rest, work to earn money, see friends to strengthen friendships, practice to get good at something, etc.
But some things are for your mind, heart and soul to learn. I’m speaking of appreciation, trust, intuition, self-love, optimism, experience, wisdom, serenity, etc.
Easy doesn’t mean right
In my case, it’s crystal clear to me. At the time, I was finally in a stage of my life where I thought I had it all figured out. I was so satisfied with my life, because it was easy. But I wasn’t forced (yet) to learn certain things.
The environment that I was living in just allowed me to relax and not have to deal with a lot of stuff. Which I loved, of course. But I still didn’t go through the whole character development that I thought I had already achieved. And I’ll still have to go through so much more. It will take us a lifetime, by the way.
So, I recognized, I still fear abandonment, I still deal with anxious attachment, I still overthink, I still have an urge to control my surroundings, I still don’t fully trust my own capabilities, I still have patience to learn, and optimism and how to let go.
And so life is presenting me with situations where I actually get to practice those things. And guess what, it feels so hard and difficult.
Hard doesn’t mean wrong
Does that mean, it’ll stay like this forever? Nah. You can still be in a place in life where you don’t want to stay in. You still have time. It’s still possible for you to achieve so many things and grow and learn.
Instead, try to figure out what your body, mind, heart and soul still need to work on. What is it that brings you anxiety at night? Why are you still obsessing over certain situations, or people?
What are you lacking? Love? Friendship? Trust? Health? Passion?
Listen to what you need… You know what it is!
What is it that you need in life to feel better? Deep down you know. But remember – this is what I always have to remind myself of – sometimes you can’t change your life or your way of thinking in a day. Some things just take so much time.
But that doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong thing to do or that it won’t happen. In my case, I know, in order to be truly happy, I will have to move away. And I know that it just won’t happen for a while.
So, in the meantime I know what I can work on to prepare, and get better. Every once in a while I just need a little heads up. And I guess you need that too.
So, in case you feel the same as I do, I really hope this little thought-dump of mine helped to calm you down a little. Feel free to come back whenever you need to 🙂
Love, Valentina <3
Written by Valentina – spiritual writer & founder of Valentina’s Diary
