I know how hard it can be to get stuck in a seemingly endless loop of bad days, thinking you’ll never get out of there again. To have trust in that situation is a struggle. And I know because I’m currently in one. I just lack energy, motivation, inspiration, passion. For me, it’s a combination of the bad November weather, on overload of work and university work, a long-distance relationship and 50’000 things I want to get done. I feel like I don’t have time for nothing. I don’t like the place I live, I also don’t find the people I’m surrounded by very nice. It feels like everything I try to do is hard. I don’t have any sense of accomplishment or milestones I could hit. I have big goals that seem impossible to achieve. And I’m a bit scared that I’ll stay in the same place forever.
I’m quite sure many people absolutely get the way I feel at the moment. I had such phases before in my life. And the people I have around me are so positive that sometimes I don’t even think they get how I’m feeling at the moment. But at the same time it’s so hard to motivate yourself. There are a few things I have done that helped me to once in a while give myself a break from feeling down. Even though I know that it’ll still take me a hot second to get to where I want to be. Or to where at least I think I’ll feel fine.
Over the months, this blog has turned into my personal little diary and also handbook on how to live a better life doing little things. And so I wanna talk this for me and for whoever needs a little pick me up. Hope, you won’t be disappointed 🙂
It all starts in your head
Explained by Dr. Joe Dispenza and co., you can only perceive what you have pictured in your head. If I asked you how many red cars you saw today, you probably wouldn’t remember any. But if you looked for red cars tomorrow, I promise you’d see a bunch. It’s what we set our minds to that we see. And so if you’re so focused on the bad things that are happening in your life right now, that is all you will perceive. If you give yourself enough reasons to believe you’re overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, heart-broken, stuck, self-critical or alone… That’s how you’ll feel.
And the funny thing is that I always hated receiving such advice. But it’s only because deep down I know it’s absolutely true. The cure I guess is to find new things that can inspire you again, or at least distract you until the bad phase is over. I’d say it’s always good to invest in relationships, relationships, arts and crafts, creativity, physical activity, intellect, learning something new, doing self care acts. Personally, I think a good cry, a massage, a long talk with a friend or ten minutes of meditation can work wonders 🙂
The power of perspective
I have seen a video where a woman explained something that was so interesting to me. She said, anxiously attached people lack something important. If you, for example, see a tree somewhere, and the next time you walk there someone started building a house in front, you still know that the tree is there, hidden behind. Just because you can’t see it now, you still know it’s there. And with love it’s the same thing. When someone tells you they love you today, you know they do. Just because the next day they didn’t tell you, it doesn’t mean they fell out of love. An anxiously attached person would think that they did. But if you put the whole thing into perspective and you look at with logic, you might understand that the love someone has for you is still there, even if you didn’t hear it from them today.
And that’s how it is with most things. Just because you didn’t see the sun in a few weeks doesn’t mean it’s not there anymore (literally and figuratively). Life is not black and white. There are good days and bad days, peace and stress, boredom and excitement, work and holiday, time with or without someone, busy days or days off.
This too shall pass
I’m pretty sure I have used this phrase a few times before, because I love it. Nothing – and I mean it – will stay in your life forever. This can be a curse, but it’s mostly a blessing. It helps us endure the hard times and appreciate the good ones. So, whenever you’re in a bad phase remember that you will not be punished with this dullness forever. You can actively work towards changing something, but I know, sometimes you can just endure. In my case, once it starts to get warmer after winter is also when my mood gets lighter 🙂
And if you ever find yourself in a phase where all you’re doing at the time is waiting – waiting for a different months, a holiday, a person, a degree, money, a job, health or a certain weight, remember that at the moment you’re for the fruit to grow whose seeds you have planted not so long ago. And the best thing is, if you’re lucky, you can watch it grow 🙂
Trust – the key ingredient
Above I mentioned that sometimes you can work your way into a situation you like more. But – and I know this sucks – but sometimes you can’t. For me, this was the case when I had to move back home from Madrid – my favorite city in the world – after five months of living there. It was horrible. Especially since I knew that it will take me at least two years to be able to come back, because of uni and stuff.
And so, in such situations, all you can do is trust. I know it’s a cliché phrase but I challenge to find something that works better. Trust is the knowing that something better is on your way even though you have no clear evidence. Trust is letting go, unclenching your fist while holding on so tightly to something that it hurts, it’s abandoning a situation you have no control over and putting the responsibility of giving you a good result into the universe’s hands. Especially when trust is all you have left, it’s a declaration of love to a higher power. It’s a way of saying ‘I have no power over this situation, so I allow you to do with my life whatever you have intended’. Trust is vulnerable. It can be dangerous as well, because sometimes you might get disappointed.
It seems funny to me to be writing advice like this on the internet when I myself keep struggling with being stuck in a uninspiring phase of life. The thing is I know it’ll get better. I know about all the things I wrote about, and I bet you do too. It’s just so difficult to sometimes remind ourselves of what we already know and set the right direction for our hearts again.
But you got this.
Love, Valentina
