How we live our lives eventually plays a significant role in our journey as a soul – what experiences we make, what lessons we learn, what people we get to know and what impact we have on the world and on the people, who come after us. But is it our choice? Do we get to sculpt our lives? A friend of mine asked me once if we never actually get to decide anything in our lives because everything might already be decided for us. Let me try to explain it to you!
I was struggling to find words to describe accurately how destiny works because it is such an important aspect of spirituality. At first, I was confused myself and was hesitating to write about it. How can I explain something if I don’t even get it?
And then I remembered that my favorite book of all time – the Alchemist – is about exactly that. Which is why I let Paulo Coelho help me with explanations.
“I love you because the entire Universe conspired to help me find you”
Paulo coelho
In short, I would say that your destiny is a sequence of incidents that lead us eventually to a specific outcome. We say that destiny is the opposite of chance. That are some people – me included – who do not believe in coincidences at all. Everything that happens is supposed to happen and happens for a reason! Sometimes something occurs because a specific outcome is supposed to shape our own lives, and sometimes we are supposed to change other people’s lives.
Where would we be today?
I have thought about this often! Imagine a chain reaction of incidents that shaped our world exactly the way it is now! Inventions only happened because the people were inspired by something or someone, by books they read, by places they have traveled to, by people they met, by conversations they had, by things they learned when they were children, by people who taught them something, by people who they fell in love with, by people who touched their hearts, by the pain they suffered, by losses they had to endure and so on!
What would Shakespeare have done if he had never learned to read? What would W.A. Mozart had done if he would have never been able to touch a piano? What would Columbus have done if he had never had the chance to go on a boat and sail away? Imagine all the knowledge we would not have today and where our society therefore would be had Gutenberg never invented the printing press. And would he have been able to do that if he had lived in a different country in a different financial situation with different people who had inspired him? If he had lived in a different time? What if Thomas Edison had never invented the light bulb? Where would we be today if we still had no electricity and lamps in our houses?
How we’re all connected
Firstly, I will never be able to answer this question! But try to think of it yourself. Maybe some to you foreign person “only” had to be born so that he could spark an idea in someone else. Maybe this person had absolutely no reason to be born except to influence someone else who then would invent or write something that over several people got into the hands of someone else who would then do something extraordinary with that peace of information.
Think of how many people you have already talked to in your life. You don’t know if you changed someone’s life by saying something they had never thought of before, if you saved someone’s life because of the love you made them feel, if someone found their purpose in life because of you and only because of that encounter is able to do something astonishing. Most of the time we have no clue. Doesn’t this make life so beautiful?
But what about us?
You might now wonder what all of this has to do with you. What exactly does destiny do? And how is it different from fate?
The way I have always thought about this is that destiny (which ultimately are the highly advanced creator souls in the universe, but more on this a later time) throughout your life presents certain events, meetings or incidents to you, that enable you to form your life – after you have made a decision.
An example: To a point in time x in place y you were supposed to meet your soulmate. But because you didn’t feel like it you didn’t go that day (ultimately your first choice!) and missed meeting this person. Then, a certain amount of time later, the universe gives you another chance to meet your soulmate. This time, you decide to go (maybe your intuition told you to do so) and you actually meet them. But because of a certain reason you decide that you don’t want to be with them and walk away (this is your second choice). Maybe, because you have matured or because you realized certain things, after a certain amount of time you decide to reach out to them again which leads to you actually finding each other for good. Now again, you have the choice to leave at any time.
This example shows really well how destiny works in my opinion! Destiny presents you situations that are meant for you. But still, you have the power of choice. You get to decide if this is actually what you want or not and get to act accordingly.
Why is there Destiny if we make all of our Decisions?
An important distinction to make is between the fact of experiencing and acting. Destiny will always present people or situations to you that can alter your (perception of) life. But what you make of it is your choice. With a few exceptions of course!
One of these exceptions is death. Again, let’s say you were supposed to die on day x in place y. But because of a certain reason you decide not to go there, you don’t die. But if it’s really supposed to happen it will happen! Ultimately, this means you will die anyway, maybe not on this day but another. Maybe not with cause a but then due to cause b.
For some I imagine, this thought is really scary. But if you really think about it, it’s a beautiful concept. It takes all stress away from life. Because whatever happens, happens and is supposed to happen.
Some important Things to note…
First of all, the universe always has your back. And everything that happens is in your best interest (remember: your best interest doesn’t mean the most comfortable but what serves you best in the future. This can also mean preventing you from something or letting you learn a lesson).
Secondly, there’s a difference between fate and destiny! Destiny are all the things that were supposed to happen. And fate is what you then made of it. So, if you were supposed to be with your soulmate but because of some reason you decide against being with him or her and choose to spend your life with someone else, that then is fate!
To finish off this blog I would like to comment on the story in The Alchimist by Paulo Coelho that I have mentioned at the beginning of the text. The story shows perfectly well how he achieved a certain life only by a series of events and incidents. Had only one of those not happened, then Santiago – the protagonist – would have never found the love he was talking of in the quote above.
A Story to remember
In the beginning, Santiago dreams of finding a treasure by the pyramids of Gizeh. Then he meets a king who gives him some opinion-altering information and inspires him. After that encounter he takes a ship to the Moroccan city of Tangier where he lives for a year. There, he finds out that he can travel to Egypt with a camel caravan. During his travels they have to stop in an oasis called El-Fayum where he meets a beautiful woman and presumptive soulmate– Fatima. She encourages him to continue his search of the treasure and so he travels to Egypt. And in the end, when he’s finally back in Spain where he comes from, he gets to go back to Fatima.
During his journey, Santiago was confronted with many difficulties – such as being robbed, being poor, being attacked and almost being killed – and often thought about quitting. But because he learned to trust his intuition and follow where destiny was sending him, he eventually met his true love. And had only one of the steps not happened, he would have ended up at a completely different place.
And this is exactly how our lives work as well. But the good thing is, we never know what could have been! We never get to discover how our lives would have turned out differently, had we done something different. Which is why, actually, everything is exactly how it is supposed to be!
