We are not just the visible part of a tree. Out lives go deeper, with roots in times way before this. Photo: Pexels
Sometimes, our lives can make us a little miserable – or a lot. I have phases like that time and time again. In case you’re interested, feel free to read ‘7 things you can do when life feels unfulfilling and numb’ and my last one ‘Free will – does it exist, or is everything written in the stars?’.
If that isn’t enough though to make you a little more relaxed about why your life isn’t going the way you want it to, let me tell you some things about why the life you have is actually perfectly fit for you – and why it was your own choice.
Choosing a suitable body
When we die, we go home to the spirit world – home of all souls. I learned this from Dr. Michael Newton in his amazing book “Journey of Souls” and I wrote a little bit about what happens between death and rebirth in this text. Now, something that is crucial before we’re reborn is the choice of body and environment of our next life.
I know that it can feel counterintuitive – why would this life that makes me miserable be my own choice when I could live any life I want? Good question!
The thing is that as souls we don’t choose the easiest life. We make a choice based on what serves us the most. The life of a soul consists of constant learning. During some lives we learn more than during others. But it doesn’t matter that much. What we haven’t learned now, we can learn in the next life.
It’s possible that it takes several lifetimes and hundreds or thousands of lives to learn not to be envious anymore. But – with caution – I’m gonna say that usually the harder your life is the more lessons you learn.
Experiences and lessons tailored to our highest good
After we die, we get to ponder and reflect on the life we have just lived. What did we achieve? What did we learn? Have we gotten over something that we had to deal with for a long time? Have we resolved issues we had with other souls? Were we a good person? Have we done something terrible? Have we reduced bad karma? Or rather accumulated more?
Whatever happened during our lifetime, it was useful to us. We got wiser, we matured, we leveled-up, etc. But of course, we still aren’t where we want to be. Most likely, we still have issues to resolve with others. Probably, we still have character traits that we need to work on.
But such aspects are highly individual. Every single person on this earth grows up under different circumstances, makes their own experiences, loves and hates different people and so on. So, it’s extremely important to choose a life that suits the lessons we want to learn and the experiences that would be beneficial for us.
And based on all these aspects we evaluate what specific circumstances would be useful to us. And eventually we’re able to choose a fitting body, life and environment to live it in. Usually, it’s a very good choice, by the way.
“I never met a strong Person with an easy past.”
Atticus
Hard vs. easy life
Of course, some people lead easier lives than others. In his book, Newton wrote that a soul that’s more mature is more resilient and therefore more likely and able to choose a body that will lead a harder life. This could mean they choose a life where they’re poor, hungry, sick, live in a war-torn place or a life in social isolation.
With this information we could think that all privileged people are ‘younger’ or more ‘immature’ because they chose a life that’s more comfortable, considering they’re safe, have food, water, money, education, health care and so on.
But physical pain is not the only thing that can make your life hard. Loneliness too, depression, the feeling of being unloved, not feeling accepted, getting judged by others, getting bullied, constant worries… You know what I mean.
Does it matter what you look like?
One thing I have been trying to figure out for a long time is the concept of physical appearance. I have seen a heart-breaking video of someone that explains in a video what his life is like as ‘an ugly’ person. He said the loneliness he deals with is overwhelming, for years and years he has been sad, even depressed and socially totally isolated.
On the contrary, there’s pretty privilege. We would think that attractive people then have it super easy in life, right? They get opportunities, attention, compliments, etc.
But I know many people, especially women, that suffer because of their good looks. Friendships are harder to form because jealousy and competition could play a role. Often, people are intimidated by them and don’t actually dare to come talk to them.
Likely they get used for physical relationships and have it harder to form meaningful connections – and therefore suffer from social isolation just the same.
It’s not a black and white thing. There is no simple answer to why you have the life you have and why it’s so hard.
Is a hard life a punishment?
Let’s say someone has a hard time connecting with people, whether that’s because of their appearance, their personality, their environment, their social abilities, their skills, or because they have an opinion that’s not accepted by the masses, etc. They might think they’re being punished because they have a hard life.
But actually that only means that because of those circumstances, they’re able to make different experiences, evolving by learning how to be kinder maybe.
Whatever it is, it’s part of a bigger plan that you made for yourself before you were born, tailored to your own best interest.
So no, a hard life can be shattering and unbelievably hard but it’s not a punishment. It’s a chance and a huge opportunity to learn. And usually it means you’re a profound, capable, heavenly being that’s only visiting earth for a few years, making all kinds of experiences.
I don’t know if this helped you in any way, I really hope it did 🙂
Love, Valentina <3
Written by Valentina – spiritual writer & founder of Valentina’s Diary
